WrestleMania 2 – April 7, 1986
It’s time for a flag match! The winner gets to wave his flag — so 1980s here. Representing the USSR it’s Nikolai Volkoff with Freddie Blassie in his corner against Corporal Kirshner who represents the good old USA. This is pretty lousy, but that’s ok. Blassie shouts to Kirshner, “get in there you yellow dog!” The mat in Chicago is really miced well, every stomp sounds like somebody beating a drum. Wow — this went faster than I remembered, certainly no more than 2 minutes. Blassie tries to throw his cane in to Volkoff but Kirshner intercepts it and uses it as a weapon. He wins and America reigns supreme over those commie bastards.
Mean Gene Okerlund takes over the ring announcing duties for the 20-man Battle Royal. More celebrities: Clara Peller (Wendy’s Where’s the Beef Lady) is the time keeper, but she is 100 years old and doesn’t even know her name is announced. It doesn’t matter, her microphone doesn’t work anyway. The referees are Dick Butkus and Ed “Too Tall” Jones. Here are the 20 participants: Jimbo Covert, Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, Russ Francis, Bruno Sammartino, William “The Refrigerator” Perry, and Andre The Giant. This is really cool because the crowd is so into it. Chicago really seemed to get the best portion of the show. Andre wins the battle royal, last eliminating Bret Hart by launching him onto his partner on the floor. The most memorable spot in this match is Perry offering a truce with John Studd, after Studd eliminated him, only to pull Studd out to the floor. As Ernie Ladd says, Perry fools him with “the oldest trick in the book.”
Back in New York, it’s getting a bit confusing now, Roddy Piper sits with Vince and Susan to continue his trash talk of Mr. T. The Long Island crowd cheers the replay of Piper slamming T. We head back to Chicago for Mean Gene to interview Jimbo Covert and the always entertaining Iron Sheik. We also see some highlights of the battle royal that just completed. Cathy Lee is less annoying than Susan St. James, but I’d still have enjoyed this show much better with Gorilla and Jesse like the other WrestleManias of the era.
Now, here comes the best match on the entire show. For the WWF Tag Team Championship, The Dream Team (Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake w/ Johnny V) defend their belts against the British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith & Dynamite Kid w/ Captain Lou & Ozzy Osbourne). As a kid, I always liked this match better than anything else on the show and still consider it one of my all-time favorite matches (even though I haven’t really watched it in over a decade). Believe it or not, it really holds up well. Dynamite is a spectacular performer and Davey Boy is very good. Valentine is solid for the heels. Though Beefcake is very limited, they keep his involvement to a minimum which allows this match to shine. The Bulldogs win the belts when Davey rams Valentine into Dynamite and covers him. Dynamite takes a ridiculous bump off the top rope to the floor that doesn’t even get appropriately captured because they just didn’t have the type of camera set up you’d find at a show today. At any rate, the title victory really feels like a special historic moment — something else that’s missing from pro wrestling these days. It sort of comes out of nowhere too which makes it even more fun. Nowadays, you’ll know exactly when the matches are going to end because they telegraph it so blatantly.
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