Ham City Kev’s Top 10 Old-School Game Tunes

Video game music has come a long way, but it’s nice to revisit the golden age. Here are my votes for the Top 10 Tunes from the 8 and 16 bit eras.

10. Generic NES Sports Game - Simple nostalgia, nothing else.
09. Excitebike - Simple nostalgia, plus it’s hilarious.
08. Tetris – Heard this music WAYYY more than the popular GameBoy theme.
07. Green Hill Zone – Im in my neighbor’s basement, instantly.
06. Marioland – My favorite of all Mario themes, a high honor.
05. Rush N Attack – Great soundtrack for a stabbing spree.
04. Dr Wily Theme - What list would be complete without it?
03. Double Dragon - I’d love to see a Tyson highlight video set to this music
02. Final Fantasy 4 – If you’ve played it, you get it.
01. Contra Base - Nothing’s better. I wish all FPS’s had an option to turn this theme on.

Pet Peeves

Two mental patients yammer on for a half hour, discussing a bunch of random things they can’t stand.

Ham City Kev’s Top 10 All-Time TV Shows

Anybody out there give a shit? Me neither. But for the hell of it, here it is. Let your judgment of my taste begin.

Honorable mentions: American Dad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Beavis and Butthead, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Robot Chicken, South Park, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, The Wire.

10. Reno 911 (86 episodes; 2003-2009)
Favorite Character: Terry
Favorite Quote: “I’m just goofin’. I’m just new boot goofin’.”
Quick reasons why: Making fun of every race, color, and creed; awesome character development.

9. Married With Children (261 episodes; 1987-1997)
Favorite Character: Al Boondy!
Favorite Quote: “I’d say it behind your back, but my car’s only got half a tank of gas!”
Quick reasons why: Lightning quick wit; top notch insult humor; kinship with Al.

8. Mystery Science Theater: 3000 (198 episodes; 1988-1999)
Favorite Character: Tom Servo
Favorite Quote: “ooh, right in the store!”
Quick reasons why: Vast range of humor, from Bronze Age references to dick jokes.

7. Family Guy (150+ episodes; 1999-2002, 2005-present)
Favorite Character: Peter Griffin
Favorite Quote: “Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Lois this is not my Batman glass!”
Quick reasons why: All the Gen-X references are hysterical, why else?

6. Star Trek: Enterprise (98 episodes; 2001-2005)
Favorite Character: Captain Archer.
Favorite Quote: “Optimism doesn’t alter the laws of physics.”
Quick reasons why: The greatness of Season 3; Archer’s deathwish; plugging holes in the canon; underdog Trek show.

5. Star Trek: the Next Generation (176 episodes; 1987-1994)
Favorite Character: Captain Picard.
Favorite Quote: “Spot! Come here!
Quick reasons why: Science fiction at its finest.

4. Seinfeld (174 episodes; 1990-1998)
Favorite Character: George Costanza
Favorite Quote: “Jerry, the Mets lost.”
Quick reasons why: Greatest quartet in TV history; brought everyone’s neuroses to the surface.

3. The State (29 episodes; 1993-1995)
Favorite Cast Member: Kevin Allison
Favorite Quote: “I’m in your home, covered in lotion!”
Quick reasons why: Literally 99% of the sketches were epically funny; greatest soundtrack in TV history (not on dvd)

2. Twin Peaks (30 episodes; 1990-1991)
Favorite Character: Coop!
Favorite Quote: “There was a fish—IN the percolator!”
Quick reasons why: Amazing ensemble of characters; can still give me chills every time; beautifully walked the line between funny and strange.

1. The Simpsons (450+ episodes; 1989-present)
Favorite Character: Homer.
Favorite Quote: [Homer singing] Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the ballllllllllll-ahhh!
Quick reasons why: I’ve seen all 450+ episodes, and never ever, not once, have I said “that episode sucked.” Truly, the greatest, most remarkable show in history.

Ham City Kev’s 30 Favorite Movie Antagonists

Nothing fancy, just a list. Tweeners like Hannibal Lecter, Sgt Hartman, and Tyler Durden were disqualified; as were real-life villains such as Amon Goeth and Adolf Hitler.

01 The Joker (Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight)
02 Stansfield (Gary Oldman, The Professional)
03 Big Ern McCracken (Bill Murray, Kingpin)
04 Biff Tannen (Tom Wilson, Back to the Future)
05 Lee Woo-jin (Yu Ji-tai, Oldboy)
06 John Doe (Kevin Spacey, Seven)
07 La femme (Beatrice Dalle, Inside)
08 Col. Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds)
09 Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman, Superman)
10 Sean Nokes (Kevin Bacon, Sleepers)

11 Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper, Blue Velvet)
12 Alex Forrest (Glenn Close, Fatal Attraction)
13 Bohdi (Patrick Swayze, Point Break)
14 Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving, The Matrix)
15 T1000 (Robert Patrick, Terminator 2)
16 Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman, Die Hard)
17 Night Porter (Michael Elphick, The Elephant Man)
18 Lil’ Ze (Leandro Fermino, City of God)
19 The Borg (Star Trek: First Contact)
20 Predator (Kevin Peter Hall, Predator)

21
Ivan Drago
(Dolph Lundgren, Rocky IV)
22 Ace Merrill (Kiefer Sutherland, Stand By Me)
23 Pat Healy (Matt Dillon, There’s Something About Mary)
24 Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka, The Karate Kid)
25 Oliver Lang (Tim Robbins, Arlington Road)
26 T-Rex (Jurassic Park)
27 snakes (Snakes on a Plane)
28 Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates, Misery)
29 Teddy KGB (John Malkovich, Rounders)
30 Jerry Hathaway (William Atheron, Real Genius)

 

And to think Darth Vader, formerly my all-time favorite, didn’t even crack this list. That’s how damaging the prequels were to me.

Golf Clubs

STOP WRITING LIKE A MORON

Your You’re better then than that!

By Gord Tep

I’m actually putting this out there as a service of sorts. These common occurrences on Facebook make me cringe because they’re sending out an unflattering message concerning your intellect:

  • not knowing the difference between your & you’re
  • not knowing the difference between they’re, there, & their
  • not knowing the difference between to, too, & two
  • not knowing the difference between then & than
  • not knowing the difference between who’s & whose
  • not knowing the difference between it’s & its
  • not knowing the difference between wholly & holy
  • not knowing when to use “me” instead of “I”
  • not knowing when to use “myself” or “yourself”
  • not knowing when to use “he” instead of “him” or “she” instead of “her”
  • not knowing that “a lot” is two words
  • not knowing what contractions and possessives are (apostrophes)
  • putting an extra E in judgment
  • putting the dollar sign after the amount
  • using fake words like “supposively” instead of “supposedly”
  • using fake phrases like “should of” instead of “should have”
  • using fake phrases like “based off” instead of “based on”
  • being a teacher and still making these errors
  • trying to correct people when they already had it right (this one is insane)
JUDGEMENT!?!?

Oy vey iz mir

The occasional typo is normal. I’m not talking about that, nor am I talking about perfectly acceptable cell phone abbreviations. I think all of these types of errors are indicative of someone who just doesn’t read. You see it a lot with the confusion of various words/phrases that people have clearly heard and never seen in writing. An example would be writing something like “for all intensive purposes” instead of “for all intents and purposes.” There are dozens of these, but that’s just one that came to mind.

I know it’s just Facebook, and you don’t have to use perfect grammar. Most of us type in all lowercase all the time, and that’s fine for informal e-writing. However, the types of errors I’m identifying are the ones that announce your lack of language skills to the world. I’m not even nitpicking here about misusing (or failing to use) commas, and things of that nature, which might even be debatable depending on how you were taught or what writing style you’re using. If you work on learning the basic items on this list, you’ll avoid sounding uneducated.

Gord is a self-professed creative genius, but he actually makes mistakes all the time.

Reading newspapers on a computer!

Check out this awesome report from 30 years ago:

Golf Gear

Good golf clubs and top of the line golf gear is going to improve your game in no time flat, but that’s not what we are going to be focusing on in this article today. Instead we are going to focus on what your mindset is going to need to be in order to prepare for what’s to come.

 

The 3 Types of Players and What They Need to Know in order to Take Advantage of the Fears You Can Empathize With

Let’s start with the most general type of players, the ones who are average-to-below average. The goal of this type of player is to be consistent and consistent on the course. This player can take their game to another level when they are able to properly “drive the ball” out of the rough. This is the type of player that you would want to focus on on the course since you’ll often find them with great putting.

The next type of player is the classically great. The classically great is a very talented athlete, who can display exceptional mental strength. This player has a tendency to be one of the best on a given day, but is also in a position to capitalize on a variety of different factors.

The final type of player is the two-way superstar. This player will exhibit exceptional athleticism on the course, but does have the mental strength to “embrace” the negative emotions that come with having to perform consistently. It can be a very frustrating year on the golf course, but the two-way superstar will often perform very well, consistently, and often.

Listed below are the 3 most common types of golfers you will come across, broken down into key traits and that can have an effect on your performance and play on the course. Remember these types of players only have to exist on the course and in the right situation for the fear to become real, and that’s why people practice a lot sometimes using equipment as a skytrak golf simulator which help a lot with their golf game.
The Effort

Most golfers will have a simple belief that playing at their best requires them to exert all their effort on the course. This can be a simple formula:

Play 100% of rounds you feel you can do well

Play as well as possible when you can’t

Play hard and feel great

If you are this type of golfer, you will have a much easier time in your career than the “natural” player, but if you are not, you will find it hard to constantly out play your opponent when your game is very inconsistent. Do yourself a favor and research how you can have a consistent win percentage playing 100% of your rounds.

“You can’t win without effort”

Bill Tilden

The Focus

This type of player doesn’t have to commit to 100% of their rounds, but will instead focus on making sure they’re playing at their best when it matters. This player will be able to win games of golf easily, if they know how to get a game plan in place on each hole.
“I can win anything without the focus”

Andy North

The “You won’t get far if you have no goals!”

This is the second main type of player that you will come across. This person is one of the smartest golfers you are likely to encounter and will probably still find themselves struggling to win many tournaments that they play. The purpose of this type of player is to “play to win”. This guy will not care about where they finish as long as they achieve their goals

Gord Tep’s Top 10 All-Time TV Shows

As always at GordTep.com, we’re never capable of compiling the definitive list of the greatest “whatever” of all time. This list is just a representation of my personal favorites. Feel free to post your own.

10. WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (31 Episodes, 1985-1992)
I have great memories of waking up on Sunday to watch last night’s action on tape.
Personal Favorite: Randy Savage
Standout Performer: Hulk Hogan
Favorite Episode: The Mega Powers Unite

9. Pee-Wee’s Playhouse (45 Episodes, 1986-1991)
My favorite Saturday morning show as a kid.
Personal Favorite: Billy Baloney
Standout Performer: Pee-Wee Herman (Paul Reubens)
Favorite Episode: “Christmas Show”

8. Entourage (88+ Episodes, 2004-2011)
The very definition of a “hip show” in the ’00s.
Personal Favorite: Johnny “Drama” Chase (Kevin Dillon)
Standout Performer: Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven)
Favorite Episode: “Lose Yourself”

7. The Simpsons (450+ Episodes, 1989-?)
It boggles my mind how they’ve managed to say so good for so long.
Personal Favorite: Homer Simpson
Standout Performer: Bart Simpson
Favorite Episode: “Homer at the Bat”

6. The Ultimate Fighter (120+ Episodes, 2005-?)
Each season is entertaining in its own right, but Season 10 is probably the funniest.
Personal Favorite: Rampage Jackson
Standout Performer: Dana White
Favorite Episode: “Gave a Hundred”

5. Dream On (118 Episodes, 1990-1996)
Lovable characters. Brilliant writing. Beautiful women. What’s not to like?
Personal Favorite: Martin Tupper (Brian Benben)
Standout Performer: Judith Tupper Stone (Wendie Malick)
Favorite Episode: “Angst for the Memories”

4. Da Ali G Show (12 Episodes, 2003-2004)
It’s not for everybody, but it makes me laugh harder than any other show.
Personal Favorite: Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen)
Standout Performer: Ali G (Sacha Baron Cohen)
Favorite Episode: “Belief”

3. Curb Your Enthusiasm (70+ Episodes, 2000-2o11)
Every season is phenomenal.
Personal Favorite: Susie Greene (Susie Essman)
Standout Performer: Jeff Greene (Jeff Garlin)
Favorite Episode: “Shaq”

2. The Larry Sanders Show (89 Episodes, 1992-1998)
Top-notch casting and acting for what is probably the smartest show ever written.
Personal Favorite: Hank Kingsley (Jeffrey Tambor)
Standout Performer: Artie (Rip Torn)
Favorite Episode: “The Mr. Sharon Stone Show”

1. The Honeymooners (39 Episodes, 1955-1956)
I’ve watched all of the Classic 39 multiple times, and they never get old!
Personal Favorite: Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)
Standout Performer: Ed Norton (Art Carney)
Favorite Episode: “Chef of the Future”

Favorite Underappreciated Fictional Characters – Waldo Geraldo Faldo

Welcome to another edition of “Favorite Underappreciated Fictional Characters.” In this series, Kev and I will discuss fictional characters we loved in the 80s and 90s who, for whatever reason, didn’t get the cred they deserved for being awesome. Sometimes they were too obscure for the public eye, sometimes they were simply overshadowed by a fellow character, etc. Here at GordTep.com, we are happy and proud to give them the praise they deserve. This week, we have…

WALDO GERALDO FALDO
waldo faldo

“Hey, whatcha gonna do, Willie?

Family Matters (otherwise known as “The Urkel Show”) was extremely popular in the early-to-mid 1990s. Though Karl Winslow and Steve Urkel carried the load in terms of outrageous overacting, and over-the-top physical comedy, Waldo Faldo brought his own unique brand of humor. Much like Urkel, Waldo initially was a very small bit part. However, he played the role so well that Waldo became a recurring character. Originally, he was simply a dopey follower of the school bully. Ultimately, he became one of Eddie’s closest pals, and he even hooked up with Maxine (Laura’s hot friend). On his first date with Maxine, they went to see “Malcolm X,” which Waldo referred to as “Malcolm 10.” He also believed that Canada was pronounced Kenyada.

The following is a list of interesting facts about the Waldo Family Tree:

  • his father is a stewardess
  • his sister, named Quesadilla, was born at a Taco Bell restaurant and her parents – in typical Faldo fashion – decided that a second possibility for a name, Burrito Grande, was not a good choice
  • his brother is named Ronaldo Geraldo Faldo
  • his Uncle Jalapeno has two sons named Nacho and Gary; When Waldo was asked about Gary (due to his “normal” name), Waldo replied, “He’s a bit of an oddball”
  • his other cousins are named named Bobbalobbadingdong, Reynaldo, and Doofus

Waldo Geraldo Faldo, I salute you.

Special Thanks to WikiBin.org for the Faldo Family Tree details

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