Posts Tagged ‘Movies’

Favorite Underappreciated Fictional Characters – Grandpa Gustafson

Welcome to another edition of “Favorite Underappreciated Fictional Characters.” In this series, Gord and I will discuss fictional characters we loved in the 80s and 90s who, for whatever reason, didn’t get the cred they deserved for being awesome. Sometimes they were too obscure for the public eye, sometimes they were simply overshadowed by a fellow character, etc. Here at GordTep.com, we are happy and proud to give them the praise they deserve. This week, we have…

GRANDPA GUSTAFSON

Seriously, have you SEEN the Grumpy Old Men movies? Is there one–ONE–single line that comes out of Burgess Meredith’s mouth that isn’t funny?

I gotta be honest here, I don’t know what to write without turning it into a memorable quotes post. Grandpa Gustafson is kind of an idol for me. I’d do well to live to 95, drinking, smoking, and eating bacon the whole way–while being a funny ass motherfucker to boot.

Grandpa Gustafson, God may have forgotten about you, but I certainly didn’t. I salute you.

300 Bucks Damage – Episode 23 – Star Wars Episode IV

300 Bucks Damage Episode 23

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Gord and Kev aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

After listening to the show, check out our Star Wars video playlist on YouTube!

Favorite Underappreciated Fictional Characters – Gene

Welcome to another edition of “Favorite Underappreciated Fictional Characters.” In this series, Gord and I will discuss fictional characters we loved in the 80s and 90s who, for whatever reason, didn’t get the cred they deserved for being awesome. Sometimes they were too obscure for the public eye, sometimes they were simply overshadowed by a fellow character, etc. Here at GordTep.com, we are happy and proud to give them the praise they deserve. This week, we have…

GENE

He was in the Vietnam War. He owns a bottle of dick cream. He fondles his sweaters. He smears mud on his ass. He talks to a can of mixed vegetables. He humps the fridge. All this and more make Christopher Meloni’s portrayal of Gene quite possibly my all-time favorite comedic performance.

And since it’s incredibly likely you’ve never seen Wet Hot American Summer, you have no fucking clue what I’m talking about. Shame on you.

Go see it. Until then, shut the fuck up and eat the corn.

300 Bucks Damage – Episode 19 – Rocky

300 Bucks Damage Episode 19

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Gord and Kev talk Rocky Balboa and all of his movies.

Favorite Underappreciated Fictional Characters – The Warden

Welcome to another edition of “Favorite Underappreciated Fictional Characters.” In this series, Gord and I will discuss fictional characters we loved in the 80s and 90s who, for whatever reason, didn’t get the cred they deserved for being awesome. Sometimes they were too obscure for the public eye, sometimes they were simply overshadowed by a fellow character, etc. Here at GordTep.com, we are happy and proud to give them the praise they deserve. This week, we have…

WARDEN DWIGHT MCCLUSKY

“He’s already dead, dickweed! You got — SHIET!”

Ah, Natural Born Killers. IMO, it’s the greatest cinematic love story in history (though Eternal Sunshine and Mulholland Dr give it a run for its money–again, IMO). So many great characters. Woody Harrelson’s Mickey gets all the credit, even though it’s really difficult to watch him and not think “it’s just Woody, he’s acting.” Juliette Lewis’ Mallory gets as much credit, and much more deservedly so–I’d never fuck with Juliette Lewis in real life out of fear she actually was Mallory Knox. Robert Downey Jr’s Wayne Gale perhaps deserves an entry into the series as well.

But today I’m here to give thanks to Tommy Lee Jones as The Warden, Dwight McClusky. Oliver Stone spends the first half of the movie praising anti-authority, so immediately he’s seen as an antagonist just waiting to be knocked off his perch. Yet, because Tommy Lee Jones is so fucking entertaining, you LOVE the Warden as the movie goes on. You laugh at his dialogue and accent. You sympathize with the horrific situation he’s in during the prison riot. And finally, you cheer when the prisoners put his head on a spike. Does that even make sense?!

Warden Dwight McClusky, I salute you.

Rocky Review

rocky_balboa_1Watching the Rocky films as an adult gave me an entirely different perspective. As a kid, the movies that I liked the most are unquestionably the ones that I like the least. In this brief review, I will explain the things I loved about the movies back then and what makes me dislike them now.

Here’s a quick refresher in case you’ve forgotten, or never seen, the Rocky series:

Rocky – He goes the distance with Apollo and falls in love with Adrian

Rocky II – He wins the Championship from Apollo

Rocky III – Mickey dies and Rocky loses to Clubber Lang. With Apollo in his corner, Rocky regains the belt.

Rocky IV – James Brown shows up and sings for no reason. Rocky buys Paulie a robot for his birthday. Drago kills Apollo. Rocky trains. Drago trains and injects steroids. Rocky trains some more. Rocky defeats Drago in Russia.

Rocky V – Rocky trains a homeless bum (Tommy Morrison) and kicks his son out of his house so the homeless guy can have his room. The homeless guy dumps Rocky for an evil promoter, George Washington Duke, who says, “Only in America” a lot (yeah, fake Don King). Tommy wins the belt and thanks Duke. The press tells Tommy that he’s no Rocky, so they have a street fight. Rocky beats the shit out of Tommy and then KOs Duke in spite of his warning, “Touch me, and I’ll sue.” Rocky responds after punching his lights out with, “Sue me for what?”

Rocky Balboa – Adrian’s dead. Rocky’s a pathetic old man. As Paulie says, “you’re living backwards, Rocko!” Ultimately, HGH and anabolic steroids allow a 60-year-old Rocky to go the distance with Antonio Tarver, the World Champion.

Best Picture

The original Rocky is unbelievably great. It’s the best one without argument. Sylvester Stallone’s screenplay is phenomenal, as is the acting, the music, the locations, et al. When I was young, this movie was never of any real interest to me. It has the least amount of boxing in it of any Rocky film. Ironically, that’s a huge plus for me now, but as a kid that was what I wanted most. The scenes detailing the development of Rocky’s relationship with Adrian are much more enjoyable as a 29-year-old than they were when I was a 9-year-old. The actual story is just so great. Viki King mentions in “How to Write a Movie in 21 Days” about how the hero’s goal will change, and she uses Rocky deciding that he has to go the distance with Apollo as a prime example.

Worst Films

Rocky IV & V are the films that I loved as a kid. Sadly, they’re both painful to watch today.

The log line for Part IV should have been, “You’ve seen great Rocky films, now watch a bunch of music videos with extra training footage and 70% less dialogue.” There is more “fighting” in this movie than any other Rocky. Apollo dies. Rocky drives late at night while we hear Robert Tepper sing “No Easy Way Out.” Rocky trains. Rocky trains some more. Drago says about five words. Can you believe I loved the Drago character as a kid? He’s like Darth Maul. He’s the cool sequel (or prequel) character that says nothing, yet he is one of the more memorable film characters in spite of his short existence. Oh, and what’s with that robot? It’s so stupid. Rocky’s kid sucks shit too. The best part is when Apollo is at the table and the robot leaves the room, he’s like, “Uh, OK, anyway…” which is how I felt now. As a kid, I probably loved that stupid robot. Since I mentioned Darth Maul, let’s call the robot the Jar Jar Binks of the Rocky films.

In Part V, Eric Murphy gets his ass kicked by Sage Stallone. Nice! It’s funny, I liked it as a kid for the excessive boxing matches and montages (e.g. Tommy Gunn’s winning streak), but this one is really lousy. It’s watchable in the context of the series, but as a standalone film, Rocky V is a joke of a movie. Strangely, I enjoyed the “nostalgic” feeling of this move when I was a kid, but it’s truly faux-nostalgia. There’s legitimate nostalgia in Rocky Balboa, but this one is just kind of there. It’s the only one of the six movies that could be completely erased without anybody caring. Also, why does Rocky’s kid age like six years in a week? The best thing about this movie is the Elton John song at the end, which I subsequently downloaded and listened to 50 times.

Best Monologues

Stallone has some great speeches, and my favorites are actually in the latest installment. I love when he is pleading his case to the commission to get reinstated and when he’s telling his son to take responsibility for his own life. These are both written and performed brilliantly. In my opinion, they’re so powerful that they can genuinely impact the viewer (in this case me) in their (my) own real life.

Favorite Characters

Burt Young is tremendous as Paulie. I had to check to make sure that he received an Oscar for his work in the original film, and he did. His character is so great, and he plays it perfectly.

Burgess Meredith didn’t win any awards for his portrayal of Mickey. However, these films wouldn’t be right with any other actor in this role. Rocky without Mickey would be like Daniel without Miyagi.

The Music

All the music is great except for the “jungle music” (as Paulie would call it) in Rocky V. Bill Conti’s orchestral score is epic and as recognizable as just about anyone ever produced. An honorable mention goes to Frank Stallone’s “Take You Back” song from the street corner that we hear at different times in the series. What a great song. Elton John’s song at the end of V is a hidden gem as well.

Rating the Rocky films

ROCKY ****
ROCKY II ***
ROCKY III ** 1/2
ROCKY IV *
ROCKY V 1/2 *
ROCKY VI ***

Favorite Underappreciated Fictional Characters – D-Fens

Welcome to another edition of “Favorite Underappreciated Fictional Characters.” In this series, Gord and I will discuss fictional characters we loved in the 80s and 90s who, for whatever reason, didn’t get the cred they deserved for being awesome. Sometimes they were too obscure for the public eye, sometimes they were simply overshadowed by a fellow character, etc. Here at GordTep.com, we are happy and proud to give them the praise they deserve. This week, we have…

WILLIAM “D-FENS” FOSTER
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“I am not a vigilante. I am just trying to get home to my little girl’s birthday party and if everyone will just stay out of my way, nobody will get hurt.”

Right about now half of you reading this are saying, “who?” Yeah, well that’s why this series includes the word “underappreciated.”

Fine, maybe tragic hero D-Fens (Michael Douglas) loses his mind at the end of the movie Falling Down and shouldn’t be hailed for it–but his journey to get there is marvelous, a delightful fantasyland we all slip into from time to time. We’ve all had days like his, only we don’t have the balls to act out the way he acts out. Like so many of us, he was promised a Capitalist haven where anyone can be successful if they truly wanted it, where truth and justice went hand-in-hand with the American Way. The everyday denial of this notion presents a frustrating struggle for so many of us, and Bill Foster does what we all want to do: fight back, let the world know you are standing up for yourself, and that you’re through taking shit.

Bill Foster, for having that courage, I salute you.

300 Bucks Damage – Episode 15 – Ghostbusters

300 Bucks Damage Episode 15

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Gord and Kev ain’t afraid of no ghosts.

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